Happy birthday to my niece! She is 11, as of today.
I know the aim of this blog was writing every day. And I wish I could say this was possible, but I have skipped a few days. My bad. We acknowledge this and move on.
Since the last time I wrote, I have gone out to after work drinks with friends, have exhausted myself at work, have applied and been denied a home loan, have had questionable sex with someone I should've never fucked, have gotten a Costco card, and am currently packing. It's been an interesting few days. It feels like it's been a lifetime these last few days. I am so tired, and a bit emotionally drained. Not because of anything major of the sort, just, you know, packing and moving.
In case you've never had to move, let me tell you a bit about it. It kind of sucks. It's the most fascinating, and a bit unnerving thing. You get to go through your life through your material possessions, and then have to box up this life, which just reminds you of how insignificant you truly are. At the end of your life, you really are just a number of boxes to be moved. All of this just reminds me of how much shit I have. Do I need it all? Probably not. Will I be moving it? Yes. Moving is already hard enough emotionally. Having to get rid of all these things that do and could mean something significant to one is just something that many are not strong enough for. I think I've done pretty good so far, but I know I am far from ideal on this whole moving thing.
The whole home loan thing sucks, too. I want to ask Miguel for help, but I feel like it would be a lecture and then a no. All this emotional work to be rejected. This is to much for me right now. But if I'm going to do this at all, it has to be sooner rather than later. I don't think I'll be doing this tonight, but tomorrow night latest. Have I mentioned that today we lost an hour?
And that mistake that fucked me last night...never again. I knew it was a mistake when I saw him. He had the look of former meth addict. Yep, I fucked another one of those. I have to stop getting on Tinder while I'm gone. Where he was staying...it was a fucking shit show. It was so wrong. There was no toilet paper!!! I am honestly screaming this, in my mind, of course. I am sore today, and not in a good way. Bruh did lord know what to my neck? This needs to be gone by tomorrow. I'm 31, and have a real job after all.
I have not eaten food today. Mini M&Ms do not count. I guess I should go handle this before doing anything else tonight. Off to get food and more mini M&M's!!